Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize