You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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