I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
