What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
