Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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