so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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