I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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