Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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