So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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