next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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