ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
