You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
