i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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