You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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