Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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