I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
