The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
