I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
