I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
