walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
