I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You ruined the universe
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
