You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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