I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize