I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
