you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
