What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
