Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
