the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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