He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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