before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
