What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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