So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
