I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
