This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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