I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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