I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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