yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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