Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
