How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
