your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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