Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I pour the whiskey from now on
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
