I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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