i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
