just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
