I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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