I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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