he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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