hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
wakey wakey hands off snakey
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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