I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Randomize
