Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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