Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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