Who wears a wallet chain?!
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
