If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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