I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
