My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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