somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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