i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize