She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
