SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
