nut hugger
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize